Today was filled with appointments. I arrived, quite timely, at my first, proud that I was put together. Full make up, hair done, accessories, matching clothes, not bad for early in the morning. Stepped out of the car and headed towards the door. Suddenly, I caught a glimpse in the window reflection of an older woman with her shirt on backwards. My first thought was who is that behind me. Startled I looked around and realized that it was me. Exactly how did I look in a full length mirror and not notice my top on backwards? Also, how did the people lined up in Starbucks not notice? Am I invisible? Probably not to the guys in the next car when I was pulling a high school stunt of turning the shirt around without taking it all the way off. If you haven't met me, then you should know I have the biggest boobs in all the world, thus making not flashing the car of people parked next to me nearly impossible. The blunt truth is those girls arrive in the room a full five minutes before I do. I managed to put myself back together and scoot inside but it got me thinking. Did the people around me think I was a little off? Making a bold fashion statement? Or did they just look past me?
When I reached middle age, I noticed fewer doors were held open for me by the men my age. They were too busy holding that door for the 25 year old behind me and I considered myself lucky they didn't knock me down to help her. Gone was the flirty conversation in the check out line. Rather I was told with disdain "Oh, I didn't know they still made that" about my grocery choices. No one offered to buy me a drink or coffee anymore. In fact some looked surprised to see my group in an establishment. At a club in my hometown (Where I was dropping off a friend's daughter) I was actually told there are places more age appropriate. I agreed, but I meant my couch. She helpfully suggested a place her grandmother liked!
My neighbor's young, gorgeous daughter was overseas with two fifty pound suitcases last week. She was saying how very helpful everyone was on the train. Lifting her bags and placing them on the luggage racks. I was reminded of being in the the UK a couple of years ago. I was traveling with a fifty pound bag as well as a carry on and knitting bag. As polite as everyone was, no one noticed my plight when the queue rushed for the few open seats. Those doors slam shut mighty fast. Lets just cut the story short and ask if anyone finds my blue undies somewhere near Kings Crossing Station, I would appreciate their return. So with middle age came the invisibility. People accuse menopause in women for our being grumpy, moody, or emotional, but that isn't always the case. Maybe it just gets on our last nerve being ignored in public.
Until, that is, you reach the fifties and suddenly you are back on the radar. Now you look like every one's mom. Strangers on the street are comfortable asking you anything. There isn't any one at all that won't have a full conversation just in the market check out. Door's are opened again. It takes longer to do anything or go anywhere because people are suddenly chatty again. And the phrase "It's great to see people your age doing this" has been uttered multiple times to me.
Recently my husband and I were returning from a ROCK CONCERT (not geezer rock, current music for your information) on a local train. It was jammed full of concert goers and I wedged into the car. A nice young man turned to me and said "Maam, would you like my seat?"
I thought how polite and replied "I'm sure there is some one older that could use the seat. But thanks."
He looked around the car and said "No, here you go".
I could see my husband, who is older than me by the way, doubled over with laughter. Don't care. I sat quite comfortably and pulled out my knitting . That was the day I began to appreciate the advantages of being in my fifties. Better seating and time to work on my projects.
:-)
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